Thursday, 13 March 2014

EXCLUSIVE: Dodd to make pornographic debut (UPDATE: Dodd worried about performance)


Provocatively timed to begin just after midnight, a rookie adult film producer has announced he's producing his first live event with none other than video gaming insider Pete Dodd.

The producer, who goes by the nickname Boogie2988, made the announcement via Twitter this evening:
While it's unclear exactly what the show will entail, its name is clearly a play on the acclaimed 1997 movie Boogie Nights, an engrossing character study that focuses on the pornographic film industry.

As for the producer, little is known about him, and despite our efforts (tweet below), we were unable to determine his true identity. Of course, a pseudonym makes sense for a fledgling adult filmmaker -- protecting a 9-5 career before striking it big in adult entertainment.
UPDATE: Dodd is showing some signs of performance anxiety as he prepares to hit the screen for Boogie2988:
 UPDATE 2: Dodd's fans appear excited for his upcoming appearance and are rallying behind him:

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Dodd: Xbox Live's Major Nelson is on a fad diet



Microsoft lackey Pete Dodd today revealed that Xbox Live's No. 1 officer, Major Nelson, is on a fad diet to celebrate the release of the new Xbox One Titanfall bundle. While it's not clear why the man known as Larry Hryb is on the diet, Dodd openly questioned whether the new meal plan would work:
While it's unclear what Hryb hopes to gain from the diet -- whether its to enhance his training through Kinect Fitness or prepare for Kinect Sports Rivals -- Dodd wisely raised the question of whether it the eating plan was safe.

Major Nelson's behavior is reminiscent of the actions of people who suffer from the disorder pica (no relation to Pikachu). People with pica frequently eat items that are not food and have been known to have complications, such as this case of a man who swallowed enough coins to buy two PlayStation 4s (accounting for inflation).

We hope Hryb is sticking to paper money, as expensive as that may be.
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Wednesday, 12 March 2014

New revelation casts Pete Dodd's reliability into doubt


He's made his name on repeating things people have told him... but a new revelation suggests that perhaps Internet insider Pete Dodd is only repeating things he thinks people have said to him.

Reacting to the joyous first screenshots of RBI Baseball, Dodd expressed concern about a detail he felt the game got wrong about Fenway Park:

By Dodd's own admission, he's been there "dozens of times," yet he can't remember a simple detail about his home team's field. And if he can't remember something he's apparently seen numerous times, how can he be expected to accurately recall elements of a conversation he's only had once?

While we can share our concern with words, we believe we can best illustrate this Dodd shortcoming with pictures. So we created an overlay of the RBI Baseball image and placed it in a real image of Fenway Park:


The differences between the real Fenway and RBI's Fenway are so subtle that you might not even notice them in this image -- below we zoom in on the video game/real scoreboard in question:


We have one word: verisimilitude. Needless to say, this new information necessitates a more careful investigation of future Dodd information. We remain committed to the Truth.






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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

In Brief: Site independently verifies Dodd rumor; Famousmortimer hates most populous U.S. state


Independent gaming website Gamepur on Monday called into question whether Pete Dodd's efforts to launch an independent website of his own are truly needed.

While some gamers have grown disillusioned with the mainstream gaming press, Gamepur committed the kind of responsible journalism for which people have been clamoring. Not content to accept Dodd's ramblings at face value, Gamepur tracked down a secondary source -- one Pete Todd -- to confirm Dodd's claims.

Wrote Gamepur's Sehran Shaikh: "Pete Todd said that currently Batman: Arkham PS4 vs Xbox One pre-orders stands at 4:1 ratio in United States.
"I was told last night by a guy at MS that Batman is being preordered, in the US, to the tune of 4 to 1 in favor of the PS4 currently." Todd wrote on NeoGaf."
Shaikh also asked Todd to comment on a rumor about Titanfall sales... yet despite the independent confirmation went on to include this disclaimer in his article: "Dodd has a good track record of being spot on with his inside information but we still advice or readers to take it with a grain of salt and consider this as a rumors. However considering the current market scenario this recent information revealed by Dodd sounds believable."

That's the kind of sound advise that's elevating the medium. Eat your heart out, Dodd Scientifics.

Dodd hates California



Despite being the home of Hollywood, one eighth of the U.S. population and the Google bus, Pete Dodd revealed Tuesday that he hates California and, moreover, all denizens of the Pacific Time Zone, including his corporate overlords at Microsoft.

We're not sure what prompted Dodd's outburst, but we're stunned and disappointed by his divisive commentary. That said, screw you Salem, Oregon.


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Dodd assures gamers Titanfall will not void their PS4 warranties

Web prognosticator Pete Dodd on Tuesday boldly claimed Microsoft exclusive game Titanfall will not destroy the cutting-edge technology in Sony's PlayStation 4 console or void its warranty:

While rumors reported by Dodd have been proven true in the past, it's important to remember this news has not been confirmed by Sony, so gamers may want to take precautions such as storing their PlayStation 4 in a lead-lined container if it's in the vicinity of an Xbox One console containing Titanfall. Users with detached garages or toolsheds may with to store their console in those locations for improved safety.

Dodd's claims run counter to longstanding Internet lore that a rival console cannot be permitted to have quality games as exclusives. We've reached out to Sony to determine whether Dodd's claims are accurate.

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Saturday, 8 March 2014

For the first time ever, we're unable to decipher for you what this means


First and foremost, The Word of Dodd is a news outlet, with a professional voice and a rigorous commitment to truth. Today, however, we must ask: What. The. Hell?

Credit podcaster Nicklaus West, who reportedly wears agitated trousers, with this image -- we don't know what to make of it, but clearly it is something extremely important.

Word of Dodd took West's original image and modified it slightly to better align the faces... and we don't know what it means.

Some questions it clearly raises:
  1. Are Pete Dodd and Arthur Gies lost brothers?
  2. Is Nicklaus West implying Pete Dodd is Arthur Gies (and also a master of disguise)? Or vice-versa?
  3. Does this mean Pete Dodd has the facial structure required to run a successful gaming website like Polygon?
 We're sorry, readers, that we can't shed more light on this. We're still... recovering. If you have any ideas, please leave them in the comments.
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Friday, 7 March 2014

Dodd Internet problems hampering pro-Microsoft PR


For Your Pete Dodd's Pete Dodd's new career as a Microsoft shill brand ambassador appears to be getting off to a rough start, apparently due to terrible Utah ISPs, which have been a steady source of complaints for the entitled East Coaster.

Here's one such complaint from Dodd, who sources believe to be one of the key curators of Wikipedia's page on the novel Superfudge.

Fast forward to today, as Dodd revealed his struggles in messaging for Microsoft, which could only come down to connectivity problems with his overlords in Washington state:

Clearly there is some sort of communications breakdown between Utah and Redmond, as evidenced by Dodd's lack of knowledge about the game. Dodd also showcases his lack of ability as a voice for Microsoft, saying he doesn't "know how to feel about this" because he hasn't been instructed by the company.

Of course, any shill brand ambassador worth his or her salt would know intuitively how to feel about that: That it's the best thing ever. In fairness to Dodd, the day before it was revealed he's being paid by Microsoft, he admitted he stank (at the job, not in terms of aroma):
In related news to appease skeptics, Dodd also shared news today of an early payment from Microsoft as part of their business arrangement:
While some readers were skeptical of our original article, despite the fact it was based on the ironclad results of a web poll, the only surprise here for us is that Microsoft is paying Dodd so poorly. Nevertheless, for those who wanted concrete evidence, look no further.
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