Monday, 3 March 2014

Dodd releases excerpts from console war manifesto



Internet provocateur Pete Dodd on Monday called the gaming masses to action, urging console fans everywhere to take to their keyboards and fight a bitter battle over which platform holder will ultimately reign supreme.

In a stirring message to anyone who has shed a tear over an exclusive game appearing on a system they don't own, Famous Mortimer released some of the first points from what we believe to be a multi-chapter manifesto for system warriors everywhere:

As anyone who has owned a less popular console knows, it can be a trying experience to live with a machine whose very viability is in question. Dreamcast fans, for example, are well aware of the fact that if they just believed a little harder and scored a few more points on the Gaming-Age forums in that Golden Age before "NeoGAF," Sega would still be alive today and the Dreamcast 3 would be the dominant platform of the new generation.

Likewise, everyone knows that if you back the dominant platform, it's essential to kick your rivals when they're down -- you never know when your multimillion-dollar corporation of choice will pull a Virtual Boy or offer a launch message so tin-eared as Sony's two-job PS3 recommendation.

Whatever the case, the Internet today looks to Dodd as a revolutionary leader and awaits further instruction.

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